I, like many others, have a fear of commitment.
The difference between me and most is that I have realized it—I have been aware of it for some time now—and have realized that I am not ‘OK’ with it. I am no longer ‘OK’ with my ability to completely detach myself from situations (and expectations) on demand. I don’t want to commit to a person, to a schedule, to someone else’s job, or to your life. I don’t want to commit to much of anything… …but I do.
I find that it’s seemingly easier for me to commit to you than it is for me to commit to me. Odd, hunh? No. Not really. We all do it! We all show up and (and show out!) for others more frequently (and persuasively) than we will for ourselves.
Why is that?
Outside of work (and LOVE!!), most of the things we commit to:
- Are Easy!!!
We don’t mind doing things that won’t challenge us, especially if they are convenient. Include the fact that we might get something tangible out of it, and we’re ALL IN!!!
- Make Us Feel Good About Ourselves!
Why wouldn’t we do something that’s going to stroke our ego??? SOMEbody will notice whatever it is and praise us for it, right??? We LOVE public acknowledgement and adulation!
- Don’t Show Us Our Flaws!
Simple things rarely cause us to undergo a life change or have an identity crisis. Running an errand for a friend won’t cause us to review our lifestyle or ‘fit’-ness!!!
- Don’t Make Us Vulnerable!
You’ll never have to be-one-with-the-emotion just to take a group of kids to the zoo. Treating a friend to dinner and a movie will rarely be a moving moment for you, so… you can easily commit to such “trivial” things!
- Doesn’t Take Too Long!
A friend asks for a quick favor… SURE! …if it doesn’t take too long to complete!!! And more often than not, you won’t have to do it too often!!!! And if you’re lucky… never again!!! In and out! So YES… to short-term commitments!!!
Let’s face it…
We are fans of anything where we can clock-in and clock-out. We don’t want any tough stuff that will cause us to face our fears (of ourselves!!!!). We like to keep it simple! We are fans of things that will positively reinforce the often unrealistic view we have of ourselves, which essentially allows us to keep being consciously dishonest. Reality (and vulnerability) would mean carefully analyzing our current status in life and taking the steps needed to pointedly move past STAGNATION.
We often find ourselves repeating the same processes over and over and over again with little to no progress being made at all. It’s because we’re not taking a step back and allowing ourselves ample time to look at the BIG picture but of course… this would require commitment!!!
So my question to you is this:
Where is YOUR Commitment???
In the grand scheme of things, where should YOU be in life right now? What happened to all of those many goals and RESOLUTIONS you were looking forward to accomplishing in years past? Where are THEY now?! Hmmm
Fact of the matter is, we need to do better!!! Any thought worth coming to mind is worth MORE thought, more follow-through and a conscientious effort of ATTACK! I promise you every quick idea that flashes into your mind is not intended to be as easily discarded as yesterday’s sleepwear.
Get some hustle about yourself!
And I am not fussing. I just want you to speak LIFE into those DRY BONES!!! Just DO SOMETHING ALREADY!
Neatly tucked away behind our feelings of inadequacy are HUGE visions and goals that are often surmounted by cute little excuses like “I’m too busy!” “I just got a new job/promotion, so I need to focus on that.” “I don’t have the time.” “The kids are acting up.” “I have no support.” “Golden Girls is on!!!!” Yup! Silly “HUGE problems” such as these.
In life, let’s shift our focus to COMMITMENT. Commit to ourselves first and foremost, then … commit to all others.
This year has to be a year of personal (and professional) development to get us to levels we intended to be in years past!
Where is YOUR commitment?
What will you do NOW to develop your ability to depend on yourself? How will you demonstrate that you trust your thoughts and experiences to lead you into a marvelous light? <== Great journaling question! 😉